"Childbirth used to be awesome (for men). Back in the ’60s, men partied in waiting rooms with prison guards from Sing Sing and Johnny Walker Red while their wives had their nether-regions shaved and were given enemas so they could push new human beings out of their vaginas while other women let out tortured howls in the background. Later, nurses who sound like Simpsons characters would come in and tell the men that their wives were okay, their seed was strong, and they’ve got a new baby boy to carry on their noble family line. Meanwhile the wives would still be back in the delivery room having Demerol-induced fever dreams where their dead dads are mopping up blood and their moms hang out with a slain civil rights figures in the family kitchen. It’s just how things were then, so don’t judge Betty for hating her children, you monsters."